betrayal

the grip is too tight, i wanted you to let go
seconds left until i leave you
your eyes that i love so much
now i hate with every single tear drop
the words you used to say
now it hurts me more and more this way
tomorrow is unknown
yesterday is already told
all that's left is today
today...the moment you betray me........

the EX effect

love is a cycle full of struggles towards fulfilling the dream of true happiness. when you choose to love someone means taking the risk. it's like gambling at its highest stake. you loose, you win. nothing's definite. everything's unpredictable. that's what i learned and what i called the EX effect...

in another note, while i was stumbling in the net, i found this... DIOSKO!!!!!

rain+beach=fun

my back is so painful today. no, not just my back but my entire body hurts. i had a very fun day today. the rain itself turned to be the highlight of this event.

my childhood friend invited me to her "thanksgiving party", she is now a license pharmacist. congrats bez donna =) ...of course, i was, well all of our friends were ,so proud of her. it was held at a private rest house of her aunt. today is a rainy day but the show must go on. i never planned to go swimming but as we were riding back home, the rain just poured itself so hard.

an invitation i could not care to resist.....



some of the photos before the rain....
=============================================

i will call it a day guys..i need to rest and sleep...coz' its manic monday tomorrow...

xoxo
be happy =)

first heartache in work

i was a bit mad when i found out my new schedule last monday. i really forgot that last week was alteration week. so students had the chance to change tutors. but in my case, i never expected martin and bonnie to change me!

see, i was really so close to them. i mean, we get along just fine. i really felt bad specially to martin, he knew how much hardwork and extra effort i did to help him and he just changed me without any word. i accepted them as a person, they should somehow in return gave enough respect to tell me beforehand. i will not stop them if they wanted to change me but they should had given me a clue.

everytime we see each other at the hallways, it made me feel so awkward. i tried so hard to act as if it was nothing to me. but deep inside of me it meant a lot. i wanted to ask them why. but i know i will never be able to. this is how things work in this job.

i must and always will remind myself that i am there to work, and my job is to help and teach not to become their friend. attachment will only lead to another heartache. but how can i avoid it? i could not hide the fact that i am a filipino: kind-hearted and passionate in work.

HAPPY FATHER'S day PAPA!!!!

i just wanted to say happy father's day to you papa.

i know i am not that expressive to what i feel. as what mama always says, i am the complete carbon copy of you! hehe.. maybe, that's true but i am a modified type already.

** i don't hold grudge against you for passing your lack of talent in music to me.

** i am happy that i am skilled just like you.

** thank you for the height.

** thank you for the terrific sense of humor that i bestowed from you.

** i still love you even if you won't understand the thought of having a "night life".

** i still love you even if you'll have "videoke" for hours and hours at home. it feels like torture to those who listen.

** i am blessed to have someone like you who never go home drunk.

** i am blessed to have you whose so faithful to mama.

** i am happy to tease you a lot.

** i'm sorry if i was too impatient to teach you about computer.

** i enjoyed having unnecessary fight with you it only means you cared for me.

since i grew up without you by my side, i really don't know much about you. all i know is that you are an important person to me even though i can't personally tell you this.

i love you and i always will.....

catching up

i know i haven't been posting lately. was busy for the past two weeks. i thought being unemployed means a lot of time free. as for me, i was so caught up with lots of personal stuff to do. but at least i wasn't bored yet. my aunt came home last week from her 8month study at AIT in thailand, and all the pasalubong was intended for me. a lot of chocolates and tons of clothes from her travels..hahha..i just can't enough of it. i went super-gaga from seeing the clothes, my aunt told me she could not comprehend most of the style but bought it anyway, trusting i have all the understanding and courage to wear it..haha..she's good though.

and last saturday was jeff''s 21st birthday. he had a small party at home. i love that guy from the bottom of my heart. we shared the same dreaded dream--to become shinigami-..haha..

well, last monday i started my job-hunting adventure. i passed two application forms- one for a general transcriptionist and the other for a Korean english teacher. then, i headed toward excelasia to avail in their free call center training. i passed the initial interview for excelasia and will start my training on june 17. and this morning, i received a text msg from "the general transcriptionist one", i'll be having my exam tomorrow. hayyy..finger's crossed guys, i hope i'll make it. =)

by the way, eventhough was kinda busy lately. i still find time to unwind. i played with the photos i captured during jeff bday...

OFFICIALLY UNEMPLOYED

from this day forward, i'm officially unemployed!!!

i'm not proud of it though, but it really felt so exalting. i've been constantly living day by day, just waiting for this moment to come. and yesterday, it was over. i said to myself, this is the end but the beginning of something.

i realized just for now, how i've changed so much. i used to be so blunt when it comes to putting end on something in my life, whether be a person, hobby, or even an attitude. i am not really good at letting go. but somehow, over the past years, my experiences changed me a bit when it comes to this point. i guess, this is really what it is to be mature. last year, i was emotionally bombarded with so much, up until now i am still at awe on how i managed to be so strong.

way back when i was a kid, mama always coined me as the one with a blurred future. i was stubborn, self-center, and weak. that's what she thought, well, that's what i thought too. i believed for that for so long. i've had so many frustrations, disappointments, and failures in my life, not even my family knew a single thing about it. i was fighting battles on my own. is it luck?fortune?destiny?or simply, my own will to always do good and be better after each fall, that made me who i am today? i guess, it was through my experiences that shaped me to be strong and be ready to face what lies ahead of me.

some asked me, why did i resigned when finding a job is so difficult nowadays? how i wished i could explain everything to them without sounding so immature, idealistic, and arrogant. but i can't and i don't have plans on telling them one by one. let them think what they want coz' one things for sure, i may be broke right now but this is just for now. i am just waiting for the right time, and i'll move on to another journey. a journey wherein it will take me to the place wherein no one will underestimate my capabilties, no one will think i'm just another bitch from some downtown area, i'll see to it that i can do so much more than what i can do now. as what a fellow blogger said, "its not all about money, its all about sense of fulfillment".

just a little more time, and i'm make my come back.