message to you LOVE

to love:

somewhere in the corner of this world i know you're there. living life the way you think it is. making decisions that somehow changes your life but still leads you to me. i live on the fact that someday we will see each other. that somehow, our roads are intertwined.

there's no need for me to run nor hide. i know i must move forward. its okay to look back at the past as long as it gives me the fuel to move on. but if looking back gives me the reason to overhaul, then i must choose to drive my life at the fastest speed as possible.

i may be a stupid to many and a pitiful to few but its never been my intention to be understood by them. and in my young age, i may only know you for a short period of time and there's still so many things i must know about you, yet i choose to trust and follow my heart. that even if i can't see you, i can't be with you, and i can't even hug and kiss you, you still exist. that your existence in my life may be unseen by others, i dont need them to see, my own eyes is already enough.

so what i'm saying now is see you when i see you. i will not promise anything to you but i will promise everything to myself. i want you now but i know i'm not ready. i still need time to assure that i can be capable of handling everything to you . as we wait for that special day to come, i give you the freedom to taste life and to listen to the music of your heartbeat. and as to me, i will live and enjoy my life to the fullest.

so see you later love, in the right moment and in the right place...... <3

OFFICIALLY UNEMPLOYED

from this day forward, i'm officially unemployed!!!

i'm not proud of it though, but it really felt so exalting. i've been constantly living day by day, just waiting for this moment to come. and yesterday, it was over. i said to myself, this is the end but the beginning of something.

i realized just for now, how i've changed so much. i used to be so blunt when it comes to putting end on something in my life, whether be a person, hobby, or even an attitude. i am not really good at letting go. but somehow, over the past years, my experiences changed me a bit when it comes to this point. i guess, this is really what it is to be mature. last year, i was emotionally bombarded with so much, up until now i am still at awe on how i managed to be so strong.

way back when i was a kid, mama always coined me as the one with a blurred future. i was stubborn, self-center, and weak. that's what she thought, well, that's what i thought too. i believed for that for so long. i've had so many frustrations, disappointments, and failures in my life, not even my family knew a single thing about it. i was fighting battles on my own. is it luck?fortune?destiny?or simply, my own will to always do good and be better after each fall, that made me who i am today? i guess, it was through my experiences that shaped me to be strong and be ready to face what lies ahead of me.

some asked me, why did i resigned when finding a job is so difficult nowadays? how i wished i could explain everything to them without sounding so immature, idealistic, and arrogant. but i can't and i don't have plans on telling them one by one. let them think what they want coz' one things for sure, i may be broke right now but this is just for now. i am just waiting for the right time, and i'll move on to another journey. a journey wherein it will take me to the place wherein no one will underestimate my capabilties, no one will think i'm just another bitch from some downtown area, i'll see to it that i can do so much more than what i can do now. as what a fellow blogger said, "its not all about money, its all about sense of fulfillment".

just a little more time, and i'm make my come back.

the call that never came

this day had been one of my unforgettable first's i ever encountered in my life. remember the one i told you about my job hunting? yes, i went to wipro today. was more of an accident rather than intentional. my main purpose was to go to cebu midtown hotel wherein sykes will be conducting a job fair there. to my unuttered surprised, i was misinformed. it will be for tomorrow, not now.haha. so i decided to pursue another one (which i had been lingering for a couple of days, whether to try or not), i wanted to go to it park to apply for an online esl teacher. i don't know what gotten into my cluttered head that instead of going to it park, i find myself heading towards wipro.

this is my first time and i really don't know what to do. everything was like woosshhh. it was so fast. the interview lasted not longer than five minutes. everything just went well, i assumed. then, the cliche "we will call you by 8pm today, if you get the call that means you get in, but if not it means we find someone more suitable for the job. and by that, you can reapply after two months". wow!!.. i never thought i memorized what she said earlier. hehe..

so i waited patiently at home. trying to hide the ecstatic emotions i am feeling. its 50/50. i would be so hyprocrite if i said i never hoped for it, but somehow i managed to be realistic that they would not call me.

then, its 8pm.

8:30

8:45

9pm.

i gave up waiting and proceeded on putting my headset and continue my bleach marathon.

what would be the reason why they hadn't call?

1) it wasn't never meant for me.
2) they doesn't have any load for them to make a call.
3) the girl who eveluated me thought i can be a competition to her..hahha..
4) or for a simple reason, i don't know how to speak english after all..haha..

with all the reasons i come up with, no.1 is the one i really believed in. now seriously speaking, i was kinda sad for not getting in. but its okay, there still a lot more. there's always a first for everything. i guess, i'm not lucky enough to have mine at my first. maybe, next time it'll be better.

aja!! aja!!!

turning myself into a call girl

i am now counting the days that i stay at my present job. my resignation will be effective this may 18. i had made up my mind and been thinking this major twist in my life for a hundredth time already, i am going to shift gear as a call center agent. as to what i always fondly coined it as being a "call girl".

i know most people find this job so good because you are always paid high. the first person i told about this is my mom. mama was at first hesitant to agree with me, but was able to convince her with my decision. then my father, who most of the time stayed away from my decisions only said to think it over and over again. yes, i am paid right at my current job, but the fact that i don't want to spend the rest of my life in front of a cash register machine. and yes, i was so fortunate that after being able to do my on the job training there, i was absorbed. but the super idealistic side of me takes over and still screaming that i can do so much better than this. that there is still so many things to explore and to achieve. and i realized that, i am not satisfied with what i have, i am just too scared to get out of my comfort zone.

my brother, whose also a call boy, told me to start applying. i was planning to start at convergy's or sykes'. but my bro said that it'll be better if i start applying in smaller companies, because as what he always says to me, "it's a very different world out there". so, i decided to apply at wipro next tuesday. it would be an understatement if i'm going to say i'm fine, because i'm not. i'm just so nervous at the same time so excited for what might lie ahead of me.

i know its my health that's actually at stake with this kind of job, but i wanted to try it. who knows, it might be the right place for me.

i am good both in writing and speaking. but when it comes to my speaking ability, darn i need practice. all i hope right now is that i'll be employed. and i have this feeling i'll get in. i hope i'm right.

wish me luck guys!!!