if only you could hug me tight

i feel like my heart had been carrying a lot of things inside. my eyes watered as i read her name on the screen. why was i hurt? am i jealous? or is it because this is the end of the only communication we have? could it be possible that i am just in denial to accept the truth that somehow i've already fallen for you?

i couldn't understand why after everything we've been through, the way i treated you never changed. you are still this person i can't define in my life. i wanted us to be forever who we are in each other. and hopefully it will never change. but i know for a fact that if she has an idea i existed in your life, everything would change. everything has the possibility to end.

i may be wrong to think you played games to me. and i may be right that you are still a man. i am not your "other" significant-other. i am this "not-ordinary person" in your life. i sound so naive, so idealistic, so movie type theme. but this is true, and no matter how much i deny, deep within me, i do believe.

all i want is for me to disappear before i loose you.

it is YOU who inspires me to get out from my comfort zone. i learn a lot from you. so plenty of good things. i owe you one for helping me be mature in life.

i don't know how to explain everything i feel.

if only you could hug me tight, there's no need for words.