message to you LOVE

to love:

somewhere in the corner of this world i know you're there. living life the way you think it is. making decisions that somehow changes your life but still leads you to me. i live on the fact that someday we will see each other. that somehow, our roads are intertwined.

there's no need for me to run nor hide. i know i must move forward. its okay to look back at the past as long as it gives me the fuel to move on. but if looking back gives me the reason to overhaul, then i must choose to drive my life at the fastest speed as possible.

i may be a stupid to many and a pitiful to few but its never been my intention to be understood by them. and in my young age, i may only know you for a short period of time and there's still so many things i must know about you, yet i choose to trust and follow my heart. that even if i can't see you, i can't be with you, and i can't even hug and kiss you, you still exist. that your existence in my life may be unseen by others, i dont need them to see, my own eyes is already enough.

so what i'm saying now is see you when i see you. i will not promise anything to you but i will promise everything to myself. i want you now but i know i'm not ready. i still need time to assure that i can be capable of handling everything to you . as we wait for that special day to come, i give you the freedom to taste life and to listen to the music of your heartbeat. and as to me, i will live and enjoy my life to the fullest.

so see you later love, in the right moment and in the right place...... <3

betrayal

the grip is too tight, i wanted you to let go
seconds left until i leave you
your eyes that i love so much
now i hate with every single tear drop
the words you used to say
now it hurts me more and more this way
tomorrow is unknown
yesterday is already told
all that's left is today
today...the moment you betray me........

the EX effect

love is a cycle full of struggles towards fulfilling the dream of true happiness. when you choose to love someone means taking the risk. it's like gambling at its highest stake. you loose, you win. nothing's definite. everything's unpredictable. that's what i learned and what i called the EX effect...

in another note, while i was stumbling in the net, i found this... DIOSKO!!!!!

OFFICIALLY UNEMPLOYED

from this day forward, i'm officially unemployed!!!

i'm not proud of it though, but it really felt so exalting. i've been constantly living day by day, just waiting for this moment to come. and yesterday, it was over. i said to myself, this is the end but the beginning of something.

i realized just for now, how i've changed so much. i used to be so blunt when it comes to putting end on something in my life, whether be a person, hobby, or even an attitude. i am not really good at letting go. but somehow, over the past years, my experiences changed me a bit when it comes to this point. i guess, this is really what it is to be mature. last year, i was emotionally bombarded with so much, up until now i am still at awe on how i managed to be so strong.

way back when i was a kid, mama always coined me as the one with a blurred future. i was stubborn, self-center, and weak. that's what she thought, well, that's what i thought too. i believed for that for so long. i've had so many frustrations, disappointments, and failures in my life, not even my family knew a single thing about it. i was fighting battles on my own. is it luck?fortune?destiny?or simply, my own will to always do good and be better after each fall, that made me who i am today? i guess, it was through my experiences that shaped me to be strong and be ready to face what lies ahead of me.

some asked me, why did i resigned when finding a job is so difficult nowadays? how i wished i could explain everything to them without sounding so immature, idealistic, and arrogant. but i can't and i don't have plans on telling them one by one. let them think what they want coz' one things for sure, i may be broke right now but this is just for now. i am just waiting for the right time, and i'll move on to another journey. a journey wherein it will take me to the place wherein no one will underestimate my capabilties, no one will think i'm just another bitch from some downtown area, i'll see to it that i can do so much more than what i can do now. as what a fellow blogger said, "its not all about money, its all about sense of fulfillment".

just a little more time, and i'm make my come back.

A VICTIM OF PLAGIARISM

"use or close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of them as one's own original work." (source: wikipidia)

yesterday, while bloghopping i found out that my post "message to the broken-hearted" was being claimed by someone named krissie (this is her site http://crazykrissie.blogspot.com.) she cuts off the last paragraph but ended the post with her name. no doubts, that's purely plagiarism in the act. so lucky i found it early. i could no longer check her out coz she made her site private already.

i'm not really so mad. i just felt so sad for her. so bad, she was so irresponsible..tsk..tsk..she shouldn't claimed it though. i don't really care if my work was used but be sure to give the credits to me not yours..

so you guys, why not try to look around at the blogosphere. you might not know, we have the same thing in common: a victim of plagiarism.

if only you could hug me tight

i feel like my heart had been carrying a lot of things inside. my eyes watered as i read her name on the screen. why was i hurt? am i jealous? or is it because this is the end of the only communication we have? could it be possible that i am just in denial to accept the truth that somehow i've already fallen for you?

i couldn't understand why after everything we've been through, the way i treated you never changed. you are still this person i can't define in my life. i wanted us to be forever who we are in each other. and hopefully it will never change. but i know for a fact that if she has an idea i existed in your life, everything would change. everything has the possibility to end.

i may be wrong to think you played games to me. and i may be right that you are still a man. i am not your "other" significant-other. i am this "not-ordinary person" in your life. i sound so naive, so idealistic, so movie type theme. but this is true, and no matter how much i deny, deep within me, i do believe.

all i want is for me to disappear before i loose you.

it is YOU who inspires me to get out from my comfort zone. i learn a lot from you. so plenty of good things. i owe you one for helping me be mature in life.

i don't know how to explain everything i feel.

if only you could hug me tight, there's no need for words.

making for the lost time

been ignoring this blog for awhile now. so here i am, making up for the lost time.

soooooooo plenty of things that had happened while i was "hiatusing". these are just the highlights:

1.) well, i graduated from college. yah yah yah i know i was kinda late to tell you guys..still, i know i deserved a round of applause?..ayt?..heheh
2.) i've done something so wrong, yet it felt so good. call me bad, but i still feel so good. experience is still the best teacher ever!!
3.) i am making a very big turn in my career. i'll try something different. honestly, i'm kinda scared right now for what might happen. but you'll never know unless you'll try.

it made me think that i always plan for my life. but sometimes, truth is, what ever it is that i've plan it's never going to happen. right now, all i believe is-->

fate, destiny, and luck + hardwork and GOD= your life. that's my equation.

what's yours?