Sweet memories of them pierced their hearts like pins. Love is no longer a feeling but a simple word– Not enough to sustain the fire burning. But it isn’t dead yet. It’s just like water in a freezer, it turns itself so cold and so hard. Like a boulder, so opaque you can’t see what’s really behind it. Everything left is so elusive. As day turns to night, their hearts remain obscure.
Is it her fault? Is it her fault that her perspective in life is different compared to what most people are? Or is it his? That he was carried away by the words of his friends. What hurts her most is the thought that he chooses to follow his friends even though he knew it would hurt her. What hurts him the most is why can’t she let herself conform this time. This paved way for the bad blood to mount itself. Like a tangled thread, so difficult to straighten back. Until they find themselves so weary. That there’s no point in compromising if they will just end up arguing.
Even though things turned out to be this way. Respect is still in their hearts. She still respects him for being a very good son and a brother. And he still respects her for being firm in her perspectives in life. But she wanted to tell him that she understands. That his love and dreams for his family is what pushes her to the edge and to end everything between them. It’s not like she wanted all his attention and focus to be hers alone. But she sees his drive and sincerity for reaching that dream. And she knows she must give way in order for him to reach that goal. That there are battles in life that’s not really meant fighting for. Because fighting will only make things more complicated. And he wanted to tell her, that beneath that strong façade, is a soul that strives to collect the broken pieces of his heart. That he is already lost from the pathway he chooses to walk. Because he always choose to play safe. He always settle for something good but never to try for something best.
She is not afraid to be hurt but he is afraid he might unknowingly hurt her again.
When she says, “It’s over”. She means, “Open your eyes and don’t let go. Fight and muster all your love to pay everything you missed”. Then he answers, “Maybe, it’s right that we must end this”. What he means is “I love you so much and I can’t afford to see you hurt again because I am such a jerk!”.
Maybe God put them in this fish bowl not to be drown but to learn and to survive. Unless they learn to correct their mistakes, things will never be the same again. Just like what the quote says, “Repeated experiences have but one aim, to teach you what you refused to learn”. However, it is in their own hands whether they will choose to become better or to become worst.
In their case, ice covers all the love in their heart. Future is still unknown. We don’t know that maybe someday, one of them will give out heat in order for the ice to melt away. So that love will shine once again. Yet, no one knows, maybe their love is destined to always remained iced.
…. And she looks at him straight in his eyes. Turns her back with tears in her eyes and walks away from him, not knowing the things that lie ahead. Will love find its way back in their hearts? Or will it be totally lost forever?
